You have just spent months or years grieving and cursing all women or all men; then one sunny day you realize that your ex was not all that and you need to move on. If you are like most couples, the first thing you will choose to do is to have casual sex to rebel against the memory of your past relationship. For most men, casual sex is as easy as taking an afternoon stroll because they do not confuse the intimacy with love. Women tend to associate sex with love and that is why it is advisable for women to only engage in it after they have had time to heal emotionally after a break up.
Break ups always leave us feeling frustrated and our self-confidence is often crushed. So, we start searching for something that can make us feel wanted and validated. That is why some choose to engage in casual sex to restore their self-confidence to help motivate them back into the dating world. However, there are a number of dos and don’ts that you need to keep in mind before you decide to look for casual sex.
- Remember why you are opting for casual sex
You need to be honest with yourself about why you are opting for this arrangement. You need to make it clear to yourself that you are only doing it for pleasure and nothing else. You need to remind yourself that this kind of relationship does not have any chance of growing into a long-term relationship. If you notice any feelings getting in the way, then you may not have gotten over your ex and you need thorough self-examination.
- Do not settle
Just because it is a casual arrangement does not mean you pick a homeless person across the street. You need to know that there are many people out there who would love to have an intimate moment with you, so choose the best. Find someone you will not have trouble having a conversation with like maybe a friend-with-benefits who is single. Having casual sex with someone who is hitched or in a relationship is only going to complicate your life and prevent you from moving on. The person should also be sexually attractive to you because one of your intentions for the relationship is to enjoy yourself.
Just because you are now free from your ex does not mean you can indulge yourself without protection. Condoms should be major requirement for casual sex and use them even if you have other methods of birth control. The last thing you want to happen is an accidental pregnancy or even a case of bad STD.
- Do not have sex with your ex
Some people lie to themselves that having sex with their ex is one way to prove that they have moved on. Any sexual intimacy with your ex, it doesn’t matter how long ago you broke up, has the potential to conjure up the feelings you once had for him or her. It is simply a recipe for emotional disaster.
- Do not cuddle
Cuddling should only be reserved for someone you love and are emotionally attached to. The moment your casual fling is over, ask for an extra blanket and keep yourself warm. Or you could just have a shower and go home.
Casual sex seems edgy and cool but you need to get into it only when you are sure that you no longer have feelings for your ex. Remember casual sex is about satisfying yourself and your temporary partner not an action you do to protest against all men or all women.